Dear ex boyfriend,

We didn’t really date but we had something close enough. When you’d joke that I “wasn’t cute but fucking hot” and you’d spout awkward flirting with a cheeky smile I couldn’t quite figure out your deal. I always thought you sort of revered me yet you feared me too. I was a lot like you maybe, kicking the plastic cups across the dancefloor of a middle school gym instead of dancing like any respectable 13 year old socialite. Yet we were different, you had smiles for everyone and outward optimism and friendship toward everyone. I was too scared at the time, I refused to reach out to you or anyone else for that matter. I was “the tough rebel” in your eyes, I hid my fears and sleepless nights from you. To this day I sort of wonder where you went and what I did to drive you away.