Anonymous asked: dear friend

dear friend,

I’m going to address this to a certain friend who’s very very important to me. I love you a whole lot like before I met you I was so indifferent and apathetic toward everyone I knew. You reminded me that it’s possible to have close friends who mean the world to me. I know I probably annoy you a lot and I have lots of nervous habits that probably piss you off to no ends and a lot of the time I actually feel so pathetic and horrible because I’m trying too hard or not hard enough. But for whatever reason you like to remind me every now and then that I’m just as perfect as I should be and you love me anyway. I get mad a lot and I get so upset and angry at the world and I try and avoid you and I simply can’t because you have this characteristic that makes me want to continue being friends with you anyway. I probably sound so dumb right now and this was surprisingly the hardest one to write. Either way you mean the world to me and I hope one day you’ll be able to see how amazing you truly are. You’re the prettiest person I know yet you despise yourself so much. I want you to feel free to have your own thoughts and opinions, you’re smarter than you realize. But I also want you to one day feel like you can do anything.

I hope I didn’t make this too obvious, I probably did. Oh well.

Anonymous asked: Dear ex boyfriend/girlfriend

Dear ex boyfriend,

We didn’t really date but we had something close enough. When you’d joke that I “wasn’t cute but fucking hot” and you’d spout awkward flirting with a cheeky smile I couldn’t quite figure out your deal. I always thought you sort of revered me yet you feared me too. I was a lot like you maybe, kicking the plastic cups across the dancefloor of a middle school gym instead of dancing like any respectable 13 year old socialite. Yet we were different, you had smiles for everyone and outward optimism and friendship toward everyone. I was too scared at the time, I refused to reach out to you or anyone else for that matter. I was “the tough rebel” in your eyes, I hid my fears and sleepless nights from you. To this day I sort of wonder where you went and what I did to drive you away.

Anonymous asked: dear person I hate & dear person I like

Dear person I hate,

I don’t hate anyone. Everyone has something good about them, I truly believe that. But there is someone I greatly dislike. Let’s call her M shall we?

Dear M, thanks for reminding me that I’m worthless and never a good enough friend. Thanks for reminding me that I am in fact suffering from mental disorders and I don’t exactly have the best coping mechanisms. Thanks for calling me a “satanic bitch” when I told you I wanted to dye my hair black at 13. Thanks for telling me you would never be friends with a bi girl because you would be afraid of them liking you, thus causing my fear of ever coming out to anyone ever. Thanks for choosing everyone over me, but most of all thanks for making yourself the victim when I finally called you out for every damn thing you had done to me over the course of 2 years.

Dear person I like,

You are truly wonderful, and I mean that. I don’t know you too well just yet. I don’t know what makes you giggle uncontrollably and what makes your face red. I don’t know what your favorite records are and what songs I’d use on a mixtape for you. You always seem so calm and collected and in charge, a contrast of how I feel I behave. I want to get to know you so I can truly see how wonderful you are.

Anonymous asked: Dear person I’m jealous of,

Dear person I’m jealous of,

I don’t really have one specific person I’m jealous of? There are multiple people with whom I have varying levels of minor jealousy though, so I guess I’ll just direct this toward them collectively.

I don’t hate you, I just hate the concept of you. You act as sort of a living breathing reminder of everything I feel I should be. I’ve always had trouble dealing with imperfection, from a young age I’ve been taught to “reach for perfection or nothing at all” and you’re the real tangible creatures reminding me what I NEED to be that I’m not. When you’re quiet and poised, it highlights how obnoxious and loud I am. When you’re small and meek like a fawn, it reminds me that I’m tall and cumbersome, mammoth in your eyes. When your hair is perfect and your makeup is on-point it reminds me of the straightener burns and the eyeliner smears and every damn pore on my face sprouting acne to contrast the pale canvas perfection of your skin.

I don’t hate you, but I’m not exactly fond of your existence. But yet I love you, because you’re so different from me yet you give me something for which I can strive to become.