sylviataughtme:

1. when you told me your interests i spent hours doing research i wanted to become everything you love

2. the first time i touched you, your body burned just like a cigarette and i treated you like a bad habit i told everyone I’d give it up but i could never stay away for long

3. i always need something to do with my hands

4. when i found out you wanted to leave i told you I’d help you pack and i put my heart in your suitcase and i wished you good luck even though i wanted you to fail

5. i tried to destroy everything that reminded me of you then i tried to destroy myself

6. i watched your new love grow while holding a gun to my head

7. the hole my chest grew bigger so i tried to fill it with drugs, short-lived romances, and sad poems

8. i wish i hadn’t given my heart to you— i tried to get it back but there were chains on your fences and large dogs barking outside your door

9. i can no longer write great poems i can no longer write and i think you took that too

10. i still blame you for everything and i know you hate me for it

11. i still had those nightmares and i woke up screaming your name only to be comforted by your ghost and i killed her again

12. twelve months. it’s been twelve months and i’m still writing about you.